M’s birthday came and went, and my old diet along with it. Even so, those eggs and dairy bested me for a bit, but I’ve now managed two days of a truly vegan diet with no issues.
This morning was vegan blueberry pancakes (in honor of National Pancake Day, which I missed yesterday). Lunch was veggies and garlic roasted hummus (I need to start making my own again). I still feel relatively full from that, however, so dinner will be light. Yesterday was a salad, and tonight I’m thinking some greens with bell peppers, tomatoes, some diced apple, some mango and a citrus/ginger dressing. The dressing is beyond amazing.
This week has been all about evaluating where I’m at in every aspect of my life.
- Am I happy with where I’m at financially? No. Is there a good job opportunity I’ve been putting off? Yes. Am I officially looking into it? You betcha.
- Are there people in my life who have been a negative and toxic influence? Yes. Have I been making or accepting excuses for their behavior? Yes. Am I now practicing setting boundaries with those people? Absolutely.
- Physically, even if I’m having a day where I feel exhausted or sick, is there anything I can do to stay a little active? I certainly can. I re-downloaded my favorite yoga app and squeezed in a 30 minute session. Even nauseous and exhausted, the ‘beginner’ setting was just enough to make my muscles feel relaxed without over-taxing them.
- Is there any reason not to stick to a vegan and cruelty-free lifestyle now? Nope.
It feels good to be getting back to good self-care, even if it’s just covering the most basic areas. I started journaling again. I’m taking stock of the things I’m grateful for and that make me happy.
I even tried something new for my anxiety, which has been a big issue for the past few weeks. I’m typically an anxious person to begin with, but lately it’s been borderline out of control. My mind felt totally over-stimulated today. Lots of racing thoughts and almost physical discomfort, and a massive sense of feeling overwhelmed. Normally, I distract myself with anything and everything. I’ll play music, or a game, or watch a show. Anything to keep myself from being present (and for someone who prides herself on her spirituality, that is an absolutely appalling thing to want to achieve). At times I literally had Netflix on the TV, Youtube playing on my computer and was scrolling through facebook on my phone.
The mental gymnastics were amazing.
Today, the moment that feeling kicked in, I tried something new.
I shut off everything.
There was no TV. No music playing. I put my phone down on the charger and walked away from it. I cleaned, instead. I folded laundry. I washed the dishes. I swept the floor, all in complete silence.
And it was wonderful.
My mind immediately calmed and muted. The anxiety receded almost entirely. I could actually hear myself think. No more thousand-thoughts-a-second. No more fearing being present. I was present, and I was okay. It was so blissful that I could have cried. I wondered if other people suffering from anxiety had tried this. I’ve heard of breathing exercises and apps that played soothing music, but has anyone just tried standing still in silence?
10/10, would highly recommend giving it a go.
And with all of that, today has been wonderful. Despite moments of stress, despite nausea and fatigue and feeling like general crap, today was a good day. My mind is at ease, and I am so grateful for this.
Here’s to finding ways to make tomorrow good as well.